This Week… What’s Good.
"I've been DJing mostly and most DJ's end up producing. That's just me." – Idris Elba
"I can be very shy…" – Fabio
“The biggest problem we have is not Ebola, it’s not Aids, it’s electro smog.” – Noel Edmonds
This week has been a dark day for London and indeed the entire UK, but you obviously don't need us to tell you that. Aside from the act itself the quick response by the likes of T*mmy R*binson, N*gel F*rage and the rest of the fascist brigade to peddle their back of a beer mat political views on the high number of media outlets that gave them the oxygen. I realise that by default I've fallen into that trap slightly but instead of devoting an entire think piece to saying 'hey guys, you know these racists are pretty horrible people' instead we're going to concentrate on some of the great things that have happened this week in amongst the Roy 'Chubby' Brown approved quotes and opinions sourced from a Piers Morgan drug and chronic wank binge audio book.
Within the saggy mash of flaccid skin, burnt hair and hidden swastika tattoos that makes up Trump's body lies a man who is straight up losing it. I don't mean that he's losing it in the sense that he's having some sort of an emotional breakdown, because as we all know aside from lusting over photos of his daughter Ivanka Trump holds no emotion. Crippled with paranoia at that whole Russia thing Trump's turned to trucking like a sexually charged navy colonel one second, and proclaiming his love for heavy duty vehicles with a 'I <3 Trucks' badge the next because who's a big boy? Trump's a big boy and if he wants to drive a truck looking like a embalmed chicken nugget high on adderall and 70s porno mags.
PIERS MORGAN GOES SILENT FOR COMIC RELIEF
Quite self-explanatory really as to why this is a great thing, but if there's one thing that the internet does well it's taking moments like this and bastardising them. This is no different, because the real injustice isn't whether Morgan should just remain silent for all time, it's the fact that the left wing liberal media in their London bubble have once again committed acts of FAKE NEWS by FAILING to acknowledge how Louis from One Direction dyed his hair red for the occasion. But Ran$om Note is an organisation you can trust to bring you the news that matters so for you, Louis…
WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED.
Life is perfect…