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This Week… Meat-Free-Mccartney, Whistles And Seaside Addiction

 
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"The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea" – I. Dinesen

"Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.' That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, 'Now, let's write a swimming pool'" – P. McCartney

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult" – R. Rudner

“There isn’t such a thing as death, it’s just departure. You cannot die. It’s been known for a very long time" – N. Edmonds

Hello.

This Week… you should have voted. Corporate big boys Sainsbury's and Asda are on the verge of a merger. More news on the Home Office's abuse of power after it was revealed they told more than 7,000 students to leave in ERROR. The Nobel Prize in Literature will not be awarded this year after sex abuse allegations. And Noel Edmonds' WHISTLEBLOWER pal reveals that two or three men might be friends. 

Has anyone ever blown their whistle near you? If so, whistle this tune and tweet us tomorrow between 9-10am.

Be careful if you do blow a whistle though. It can make you famous.

Nigel Farage tensely keeping an eye on the local elections this morning.

Just a quick update on Noel before we go any further.

He still doesn't like Lloyds.

I spoke with him on the phone yesterday. He's fine but still very annoyed about that £60,000,000 they stole from him.

He's also in the process of writing a strongly worded letter to Pret A Manger's CEO, Ronald McManger, after this sarnie was missing the other half.

Fuming.

Noel the trendsetter.

ARE YOU ADDICTED YET?

Do you know this man? Because he knows you.

 

Never wave to strangers.

Lesson learned.

Finger lickin' good!

If you still eat meat, please watch this heartwarming but harrowing video from Linda McCartney's ex-husband.

Cool accent there, Paul.

A little birdy once told me that she had an affair with cult-leader Bernard Matthews in the 70s. They met on the set of this docu-short about Bernard's breadcrumb chicken and free-sex cult (the chicken wasn't free). Try and spot her in the wide angle crowd shot. Blink and you'll miss her.

 

Have you booked your summer holiday yet? The Guardian put together a great list of UK destinations to visit. Let's work together and keep this Great British Isle afloat rather than heading abroad for our holidays.

If you don't like this image then please email jacob.reesmogg.mp@parliament.uk

I'm about to blow the R$N trumpet right now.

Goodbye.

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