Asking For A Friend #67

There is always that one bloke in the pub who thinks out loud. Who asks the questions which pop into his head almost immediately, he has little filter and asks the questions that we all want to know the answers to. His name is Mitch Davis and this is Asking For A Friend.

Will these look good with denim hot pants in the park today?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a homemade artisan carrot cake? 
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a genetically engineered Meowl?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to try our new disability testing chair?
Asking for the DWP.

Would this make a 45 year old chubby funster more sexy?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a new iPhone 7? £200
Asking for a friend

Anyone want to buy a vintage Star Wars toy?
Asking for a friend

How do you become friends with someone?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone available to look after a couple of children this afternoon? Totally normal and well behaved! 
Asking for a friend.

If you've just snorted this, will you die?
Asking for a friend.

Is this suitable for a vegan dinner guest? 
Asking for a friend.

Ivan Smagghe's Editorial Note