I've not had time to finish this week's Tonka's Week due to unexplained circumstances.
Below are the notes I was working from up until the Ran$om Note Thursday night deadline.
As you can see, you're missing out on the end of a cracking curtain pole anecdote and nine other potentially explosive recollections.
Sincere apologies for not having fleshed this week's Tonka's Week out in time. As I say, the circumstances surrounding this excuse are unexplained.
21 March 2014
I put a new curtain pole up in WRDMHQ over the weekend. Well, I say pole! The back office has recently been redecorated and I wanted to jazz up the dry zone with new curtains. I got in the company car and sped off to Dunelm Mill on the A40, knocking over a nearby traffic cone and beeping my horn a few times as I left the company car park. When I arrived at the shop I asked to be shown the curtain and curtain pole aisle and was duly accompanied. I picked out the most expensive pole and the most expensive curtains and paid for them in cash.
When I got back to WRDMHQ I quickly set about measuring up and preparing myself. With bay windows
Harder than you think / track or pole / etc
The office has a bay window so I bought some posh poles.
- Max Cliffords cock / Dan Beaumont
- Airplane missing
- Not worn a coat for over a week now
- DJ Dave Clarke picking on me in Twitter
- Contact lenses a bit dry. Got a voucher for free eye test at Spec Savers but the deadline has passed. Deciding whether to go ahead.
- Young/old porn (step mom lesbian stuff)
- The film, Pretty Woman
Tonka better return properly next week or there's going to be severe repercussions.
?Tonka is the sole writer for the world famous Weekly Review of Dance Music tho he can barely do that at the moment.