TONKA'S TOP 8 OF 2013

Tis the season of the end of year list. Each week until the new year, we'll be publishing the Top 8s of the various R$N scribes. Here are Tonka's choices...

TONKA'S TOP 8 OF 2013

Tis the season of the end of year list. Each week until the new year, we'll be publishing the Top 8s of the various R$N scribes. Here are Tonka's choices...

Tis the season of the end of year list. Top 10 straight to box set DVDs. Top 1000 digital deep house labels. Etc. We've decided to go for Top 8 Whatevers. The Top 8 things of the year - be them bacon sandwiches; the top 8 times you stubbed your toe against the f*cking boxes full of useless sh*t your girlfriend insists on leaving in the hallway; and so on and so forth. Each week until the new year, we'll be publishing the Top 8s of the various R$N scribes.
 
Here are the man like Tonka's:

1. House of Gods 20th birthday party

Who says that Birmingham is all hard house clubs full of teenage boys and trance bars full of women who wear big feather boas? In February I helped Surgeon celebrate 20 years behind the decks at House of God by wandering around Subway City waving a bottle of poppers underneath the noses of all my new best friends and licking mdma from the palm of my hand. I also lapped up some speed out of the hand of a middle-aged lady raver whos name I forget after I let her have some of my poppers and a drink of water. House of God is rough as fuck. Heres to 20 years more.

2. Snoop Doggy Doggs Doggystyle The Samples mix tape

Twenty years ago today, G-Funk took over my world for a little while. Dr Dre sampled a load of old songs and put dope beats over the top of them so that Snoop Doggy Dogg would rap over the top of them. This year, Snoop Doggy Dogg put out a mix-tape of the records Dr Dre sampled twenty years ago and talked, laughed, sang and rapped all over the top of them again! Fifty minutes of excellence by my favourite rapper and the sexiest song Id never heard until I listened to Doggystyle The Samples.

Isaac Hayes A Few More Kisses To Go:  

3. Ben Klock playing Grandstand in Edinburgh

Ben McKlock made a bunch of chin-scratchers scratch their McHeads in Edinburgh by mixing a techno track with the McTheme tune to Grandstand. Ben is widely regarded as one of the best beat-matchers in the business but the transition from Grandstand to the industrial techno track he followed it with was all over the place. However, what he lacked in technical skills he more than made up for with charm and good humour. An over the shoulder gaze at the camera, a knowing smirk and a casual point towards the ceiling told you all you need to know about the DJ who has, in the blink of a month, reached National Treasure status.

4. Red Bull Revolutions in Sound on the London Eye

Who would have thought that spinning around really slowly in a big metal wheel on the banks of the River Thames whilst listening to dance music in a simulated club environment would be so much fun? Me. Thats why I agreed to cover the Red Bull Revolutions in Sound event on the London Eye this year for my website, the world famous Weekly Review of Dance Music. I got so drunk I missed the boarding for the capsule I was supposed to be on, I almost wet myself and I ended a Twitter beef with a young man who works for Mixmag by shaking his hand and being nice. What a night!

5. Weekly Review of Dance Music chosen as The Guardians Blog of the Week

Not why, why not? Ever since I started the Weekly Review of Dance Music in 2011 an award like this was on the cards. 2013 has seen WRDM reach new heights. As well as introducing hugely successful new items such as WRDMerchandise, Hilarious Lookalikes and a Draw a DJ competition that saw the winner jetted off to Ibiza, MASSIVE QUESTIONS with Pittsburgh Track Authority, Egyptian Lover and Tim Sheridan has solidified and built on Tonkas (my) already sound reputation as the David Frost (pre-death) of dance music. The Guardian caught this rising star just in time and threw a little more light on it. I will not stop writing words in 2014.

6. Katy Perry at Butlins

Trust Tonka: Vicky Jackson as Katy Perry is just as good as watching the real thing and, if you discount the cost of petrol and hiring a chalet in Minehead for a week, about ten times cheaper.

Vicky Jackson as Katy Perry at Butlins Minehead: 

7. Breaking my twelve in one day record

The summer of 1999. Parents at work. Empty house. Im not at work for reasons I cant remember. My dads German Magma videos sat temptingly behind his seldom used toolbox in the out-house. An all-day solo-sexual work out to Groe Mdchen Verbessert Es, Fantasia Europa, Anal Universitt 2: Neue Freunde, Ben Dover Shagging Bonking und in Grobritannien im and Hotel Verstecken. Twelve times later Im nothing but salt. Fourteen years later I put two on it and made it go fourteen times before falling asleep. My Internet Explorer history was fit to burst with browsing titles such as Nasty Bitch Makes Six Sex Slaves Sing, Lovely Lesbians 69, Hardcore n Horny Hard On Heroes, Sex In The Beach, Lesbian Homework and Drugged Up n Fucked Round Back n Lovin It.

Ive never been so proud of myself (except for when the Weekly Review of Dance Music was Blog of the Week in The Guardian).

8. Daft Punk Get Lucky

When I first heard this I thought it was fucking shit. About four weeks later I couldnt get the chorus out of my head! In fact, I still walk around London humming it. Even when everyone in the world liked it, the hipsters carried on liking it. I still like it and I honestly dont see there being a time in my life when I dont like it. Its that good a song. I sincerely hope that Daft Punk carry on making more music like this in 2014 fingers crossed they can keep hold of Pharrell Williams and Niles Rodgers!

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