This Week... The Orange Crusader

Commentary

"Earth is stationary and does not move." – Saudi cleric Sheikh Bandar al-Khaibari

"Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired." – Mark Twain

"I wanna be a nice guy." – David Guetta

"See you in court…" – Donald Trump

So Trumpy seems to have finally taken the final steps to insanity, he seems to think that by referring to himself as “Easy D” he will be more down with the kids, not sure that N.W.A would appreciate the association though. Or maybe he’s just trying to reassure himself through Twitter, clearly the preferred form of communication for the tangerine dream.

How is it that the most emotive word that the “leader of the free world” can think of is “bad”, scrolling through his Twitter timeline it seems that it’s his only way of conveying anything negative. He’s also incredibly adept at that magical caps lock key, which as we well know, is the greatest political weapon of all time. I take it back, just found an exemplary use of “terrible”.

America is easy pickings at the moment, whereas wading through the swampy quagmire of british news is a somewhat different challenge, it seems that the curry lovers of this great nation may need to worry about their rice containing that most Victorian of poisons, Arsenic. How are we meant to enjoy a Friday night Tikka Massala now?

Oh, I almost forgot, the greatest culinary invention of the 21st century is soon to hit the shores of our sweet island. KFC announced the 'Chizza' this week… Cocaine fried chicken right? Sadly not, but the next best thing. See for yourself…