"Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living" - General Omar Bradley
"Uh-oh. That sound means it's time to 'drop da bomb'. And yes folks, I said 'da' not 'the'. It's a positive bomb" - Mr. Peanutbutter
"One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb" - Marcel Pagnol
So this is how it ends then. Going out in a blaze of glory. Actually, scratch that. Just a blaze full stop. After all, there's nothing honourable about nuclear brinkmanship. I never thought the ultimate destruction of our planet would come at the hands of a perma-tanned reality TV star and a man whose surname sounds like a D Double E adlib.
Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un have more in common than they would like to imagine. Both of them scary, insecure man-children with irresponsibly large levels of power. But what does all their bluster actually amount to, and do we need to start stocking up on tinned sardines? If you're anything like me (i.e. not versed in the finer details of nuclear capabilities or elite foreign policy) then you'll probably be wondering the same thing. To be honest, I had to let a Guardian infographic inform me whether or not to be shitting myself.
Of course, Twitter being Twitter, the social media platform provided this rather brilliant exchange on the matter:
Where are we at now? Well, Trump tweeted the following about 2 hours ago:
Military solutions are now fully in place,locked and loaded,should North Korea act unwisely. Hopefully Kim Jong Un will find another path!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 11, 2017
LOCKED 'N LOADED BABY!! So yeah, it's safe to say there's not a lot of scaling down going on. Also, "another path"? C'mon, you're not a fucking life coach mate. This is not the sort of crisis that can be resolved by the supreme leader discovering transcendental meditation and signing up for 'make your own jam' classes on Thursday evenings. Although, that doesn't half sound like a bad way to forget about all this talk of 'miniaturisation' and 'delivery systems'...
ANY OTHER BUSINESS?
Lmao why does the Kim-Jong and Trump face swap look like Louie Van Gaal pic.twitter.com/TVzS6xliaj— Jack (@JackIfc_) August 9, 2017