This Week 28/4

“Calm down dear…” Cameron at his best yesterday. Love the smarmy fk. “No, I will not apologise”.

“You appear to be treating people like idiots” Krishnan Guru Murphy

“‘Diana’s wedding was on July 29th 1981, Kate’s wedding is on April 29th 2011. What do you make of that I make of that?’ I make nothing. Oh no, yes I do. They both got married on days of the year.” C. Brooker comment on American commentary on you know what.

‘Music is the answer, to your problem’ Celeda/Tenaglia

“In the next few weeks there’s a number of high profile events I could not give a f*&^ about.” J. Carr

“I can’t believe Will & Kate lived together before they were married…” How terribly un-christian.

“This time tomorrow, they’ll be married and be on their way to Buckingham palace” BBC News getting pretty excited.

“We’re travelling over 30,000 kilometres” Nice. Kirsty & Phil on holiday just for us, how very carbon (un-) neutral of you both.

“60% of the houses of parliament voted against you?” ok then… in you go

Happy chocolate buying/eating was it? Jesus mate, giz a break. Only feels like only yesterday I was sat writing a load of old biscuits.

I write this from the front-line… the front line outside Westminster Abbey. I’ve been camped out here since Tuesday… and I’m starting to smell a bit. There’s no chance I’m missing out on tomorrow tho. Fk my brother’s birthday, he’s got a bank holiday. I’m sticking right here.

The media is going to great lengths to cover the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton this Friday, with CNN alone dedicating 125 reporters to the event. Here are some of the extremes media outlets are undertaking.

It’s times like this when we need to recognise Queen is longest waving Monarch

You’ll prob get a rant about the AV vote next week, so I’ll keep it on the lock down today. “A fuckl of Clegg’s.” Actually you probably won’t. I’m pretty sick of it all to be honest… let’s see.

Right then, 69,379 people like garlic… guess i better too!

Unfortunate name , what? Bum Suk Poooo. little things, little things! The best part about it is that he’s an oil prospecter. MR.

Families are 910 worse off than last year… nice, nice. Economies shrinking. Better find out who has the biggest penises in the world? I really needed to know that… thanks Ms Ryle. x

“ATTENTION: On Friday, Facebook will become owner of the publishing rights to ALL your private photos. You need to make a simple change: go to ‘account’, ‘account settings’, ‘Facebook ads’(along the top), ‘ads shown by third parties’, choose ‘NO ONE’ then SAVE. And please share.” via S. Macken

I have seen the future and it is LMFAO.

The town with no roads.

Graph 90,000 hours of video

Mmmmilky way time-lapse.

You know what, I’m just too excited… must go, think I just caught a glimpse of Kate’s Mother’s Father’s dog walker…

Oooooh, excited… I tell thee it’s not been like this since I saw Fergie in Tescos.

Must dash, just spied Nicolas Witchell, perhaps he wants to interview me? Oh, there’s the cameras, quick switch on BBC News, maybe you can see me waving.

Tatty bye

Wx

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