An Interview With Chuck Tingle: Author Of ‘Pounded By The Pound’

 
Commentary

It’s been a pretty surreal few weeks hasn’t it? The Chilcot enquiry, Britain leaving the EU, the Queen’s guard have been replaced by flying lizards with semi-automatic weaponry…wait, what? While the public has been distracted by stories of political resignations and economic downfall a much scarier story has emerged, a story of power, a story of will, a story of…passion.

Pounded by the Pound: Turned Gay by the Socioeconomic Implications of Britain Leaving the European Union’ tells the erotic tale of a young man called Alex who finds himself navigating the apocalyptic wasteland of London one month after Brexit, a city where the Thames runs red with lava and four decker buses (brought in by the government as a way of cutting costs) lie deserted across our roads. Our only hope is now in the sensual hands of Alex and his companion, a sentient pound coin with a throbbing metal shaft between his legs, who must travel back in time to stop Brexit and change the course of this country forever…through sweet love.

Known for his past works ‘Space Raptor Butt Invasion’, ‘Feeling The Bern In My Butt’ and ‘Pounded In The Butt By My Irrational Bigoted Fear Of Humans Who Were Born As Unicorns Using A Human Restroom’ Chuck Tingle is the hottest name in the world of erotic novels right now, fusing his love of sci-fi and tales of lust to create works that would make Brian Cox a little hot under the collar.

To celebrate the success of ‘Pounded By The Pound’ and its follow-up ‘Slammed By The Substantial Amount Of Press Generated By My Book "Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union"’ we sat down with Chuck to learn what’s inside the man they call ‘The Tingler’.

And yes, for authenticity to the Chuck I will leave the transcript exactly as I was sent it, in his own words.

Firstly, how did you start writing erotic novels and where do you find your inspiration?

started writing long time ago back in HOME OF TRUTH UTAH this is where i was a young buck, running in fields and playing games by myself because town was an empty place. mother and father taught me here and said i could write but they didnt know about tinglers because as MAN OF CHUCK i hid them under the floor this is until the big fire and then they all burned up and i went to montata. thats okay montana is a very nice place to get hard and learn your body.

The story of Pounded By The Pound revolves around a sentient pound coin, why a pound coin? And not say, a giant Boris Johnson?

not sure about man name of borbis just heard story about Britain high tailing it out of europe and though "hey this might be a good way to prove love is real this is a story that makes british buds hard" so then i thought, first things first gotta RESEARCH and find out big question "what is europe?" so i get on my computer and go to BING and find out what europe is (it is a place please understand this) and then i thought "okay now i will write with LOVE about what happens when you leave this handsome place" so then as story unfolded i realized the perfect pound would be a pound.

You've wrote about what happens one month after Brexit, what happens to our country after a whole year outside the EU?

well this is where FANTASY OF HARD BUDS meets REALITY OF HARD BUDS because really who the heck knows its all a mystery but my best guess would be that it sinks into lava and becomes a lava planet. this is because after the first month lava is flowing in the river (name of THAMES) and its bubblin and slurpin and eventually it starts to spill over and get everybody whos left who dosnt have wings (like reptiles with wings or handsome birds) so then it all becomes lava and eventually some of it cools to form islands where the birds and reptiles land and start a new world on the LAVA PLANET.

What has been the most erotic thing about Brexit so far? Aside from your novel, of course.

most erotic thing about brexit so far is when all the buds start getting HARD in eachothers ears and yellin and shoutin and then eventually they say "lets wrestle and settle this once in for all" then they take off their shirts and start to roll and LEARN EACHOTHERS BODIES (first as enemies then as friends) so then eventually they get hard and say "i understand you" and the other buckaroo says "I understand you too this is a good way" so thats a nice thing to come out of it.

Do you plan to write anymore erotic novels about other political subjects in 2016? If so, what are they?

seems like buckaroos like to get HARD for political subjects so yes this will happen. only problem is dont know what this will be so i guess i gotta wait and see what makes love real in the FUTURE. then when that happens i will write my tingler about it.

What other political subjects may you write about? If Donald Trump wins the US election, what will happen? 

not sure yet im not really a political buck, mostly just write tinglers that get me HARD AS COCKS as the proves love. Dom Tromp already has a tingler so probably wont write anymore about him we will see though

Have you made any contact with members of the leave campaign about your book? Would you want them to read it and what could they learn from it?

no havnt contacted many british bucks about my book other than big time radio show name of IAN BOLDSWORTH where we talked about handsome trees. i think that anyone worried about the future should read newest tingler and UNDERSTAND that four story busses are a bad idea and maybe they should look into traveling to the past to WARN other buckaroos before the vote. so best advice is to build a time machine with a handsome scientist maybe looks like CHANNING TATUM with glasses.

What do you think those who voted out would think about your book?

well this book is very well researched as I looked up "what is europe" and also i am a doctor so i am a very smart man. so maybe they would read new tingler and think "oh wow this PROVES love and maybe trying to leave was a big mistake and also now i know what europe is (place)" so with all these things combined i think they would enjoy new book. also, important to remember that the point of tinglers is to PROVE LOVE IS REAL so really any kind of political buck could read it and learn their body or get hard as rocks.

Do you think those who voted out knew the implication of their decision? Had they known I don't think anyone would have voted for four floor buses and flying lizards.

nobody wants to tip over in a four story bus this is a tale of terror so i think if they knew about this beforehand they would have changed their minds.

Do you have plans for a follow up? If so what do you see happening to the UK in your mind?

yes i have already written a follow up it is called Slammed By The Substantial Amount Of Press Generated By My Book "Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union and it is about this very moment. thank you.


 

 

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