Asking For A Friend #74

There is always that one bloke in the pub who thinks out loud. Who asks the questions which pop into his head almost immediately, he has little filter and asks the questions that we all want to know the answers to. His name is Mitch Davis and this is Asking For A Friend.

Will tonight's gourmet dinner impress my girlfriend?
Asking for a friend.

If I change my DJ name will I get more gigs?
Asking for a friend.

Why can't I get any matches on Tinder?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy an erotic love toy? 
One careful owner.
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a kids trampoline like what's in the John Lewis advert?
Asking for a friend.

Care to join us for dinner?
Asking for a friend.

Are you looking for sexy time? 
Asking for a friend.

Do you like my new ink?
Asking for Hillary Clinton.

Anyone looking for a Mitch starred Chef?
Asking for a friend.

Is this balearic?
Asking for a friend.

Will these make a 45 year old bloke look all sexy and shit?
Asking for a friend.

Why can't I find a wife online? 
Asking for a friend.