Asking For A Friend #113

There's always that one bloke in the pub who does his thinking out loud. That guy who doesn't hesitate before immediately throwing out the questions which pop into his head. He has little to no filter and asks the things hat we all want to know the answers to. His name is Mitch Davis and this is Asking For A Friend…

Does anyone want to buy this painting of the archangel Claire Balding dancing with Jim Dale from Digby The Biggest Dog In The World?
Asking for a friend.

How many bottles of this do you drink if you want to get rid of a headache?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want VIP tickets to Burning Man? £1200 each.
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy this painting of a beautiful horse galloping across Custer State Park, South Dakota?
Asking for a friend.

Will I get into Berghain like this?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a suitcase full of baked beans?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone looking for a bodyguard?
Asking for a friend.

Yeah China, why didn't you warn them? 
Asking for a friend.

If your neighbour keeps leaving you notes, do they want to be your friend?
Asking for a friend.

What did come first, the egg or the egg?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone looking for a specialist cleaner?
Asking for a friend.